The Ten-Year Anniversary of the Time My Wedding Announcement Was Not Accepted by the Paper of Record – The Awl

byDan?

Shanoff

MargeryMillerandDan?

Shanoff

MargeryIlanaMillerandDanielShanoffaretobemarriedthisevening1atThePlantationatAmeliaIsland,Florida。

RabbiDavidKaimanistoofficiate。

2

1。

Tenyearsagotoday。

Yousee:ThisnoticewassubmittedtotheNewYorkTimesforinclusioninitsSundayStyles“Weddings”sub-sectionforOctober3,2004。

Afternothearinganythingforweeks/monthsleadinguptothescheduledday,Iopenedthepaperthatmorningearnestlyhopingforthebest,butinsteadreceivingaweddingpresentofinexplicablerejection,whichisclearlyanoff-registrygift。

2。

So?

nice!

Mrs。

Shanoff,30,isathird-yearlawstudentatFordham,wheresheisaSeniorNotesandArticlesEditoroftheLawReview。

ShewillbeginworkingnextfallasanassociateatthelawfirmofDavis,PolkandWardwell3inNewYork。

4Shegraduatedmagnacumlaudefrom?

Harvard。

3。

Afterclerkingforajudge(aNYTWeddingstapledetail),sheeventuallyleftthefirmforasmallerone,thenleftthatfirmforaquasi-governmentalregulatorygroup。

Stillalawyer?

though。

4。

Ifwedidn’tliveinNewYorkatthetimeweweregettingmarried,Iwouldn’thaveevenbotheredsubmittingtheannouncement。

Weeventuallymovedout,assomanycoupleswhomaketheWeddingscutinevitablydo,becauseofkids,exhaustionoracombination。

Thebride’sparents,SuzyandGaryMiller,liveinGainesville,Florida。

5Herfatherisco-founderandexecutivevice-presidentofresearchanddevelopmentofExactech,amedical-devicescompanyinGainesville。

Hermother,aretiredteacher,isavolunteerattheHarnMuseumofArtandCongregationB’NaiIsraelinGainesville。

5。

Go?

Gators。

Mr。

Shanoff,whoisknownasDan,writesthe“DailyQuickie,”acolumnforESPN。

com。

6HegraduatedfromNorthwesternUniversityandreceivedanMBAfromHarvardBusiness?

School。

7

6。

Thatendedin2006,followedbyeponymousblogging,consulting,“writingthatscreenplay”(optioned,nevermade),joiningastart-up,moreconsulting,launchinganantecedenttothehotnewsstart-up“SyriaDeeply”allaboutTimTebow,thenfoundingmystartup,whichwaslaterabsorbedbyabigmediacompany,whereIstillworktoday。

ButatthetimeIsubmittedtheannouncement,Iwasconfidentthat“ESPNcolumnist”hadenoughmedia-ishcachetthatithadto?

help。

7。

Atthispoint,we’veclearedatleastdouble-digitsonKatieBaker’s“NUPTIALS”NYTWeddingannouncementscorecard,justthe“U”section。

I’mnotsayingthattoboast;I’msayingthattohelpmediscernwhatmighthavedisqualifiedourannouncementfrompublication。

(ItwasNorthwestern,wasn’tit?

SomeStyleseditorclearlywenttoColumbia。

)

Thebridegroom,31,isasonofCarolynandBarryShanoffofBethesda,Maryland。

8HismotherdirectsconsumerandbusinesseducationattheFederalTradeCommission。

9HisfatherisapartneratKnopfBrown,alawfirminRockville,Maryland。

10

8。

Comehome,Kevin?

Durant!

9。

Retiredthispast?

Tuesday!

10。

Itmighthaveendedhere。

Itcould’veendedhere。

ManyWeddingsentriespresentthejust-the-factsbasicsandthatwouldhavebeenenough。

Butwhat’stheharminalittlebackstory?

It’snotlikeIwasaskingforthe“LoisSmithBradytreatment。

”(Thatsaid:LSBwouldhavehadagreattimeatourwedding?

—?

wepassedaroundtheseridiculouslygoodminilambchopsandhadanoutrageouslytalentedbandandourfirstdancewastoStevieWonder’slovely“IBelieve,”althoughinretrospect,IthinkIwouldhavecutoffthesonghalfwayonlytohavethebandjumpinto“CrazyInLove,”endingwithmestandingwiththebanddoingasurprisinglyeffectiveandnot-at-all-awkwardjobwiththeJaypartswhileMargeryplayedBeyand,ontheextra-largedancefloor,LoisSmithBradywaspulledintosomekindofhustlestepbymyfather,whichwouldhaveclearlybeentheVows?

lead。

)

Inthesummerof2001,shortlyafterafirstdatewithMrs。

Shanoffarrangedbyamutualfriend,11Mr。

Shanoffwentabroadforathree-weekvacationinEurope。

Afteraweekofreceivinghisenthusiasticemailreports,Mrs。

ShanoffspontaneouslyofferedtojoinhiminnorthwestItaly,aproposalheeagerlyaccepted。

11。

That’saeuphemismfor“blinddate。

”AllIcansayisthatyourmutualfriendbetterhaveasolidexistingtrackrecord。

It’slikeUberforShidduchs:Iftheirfix-upsuccesswouldn’trateatleast4。

5outof5starsfromthepreviouscouplesinvolved,skipthematch-makingandstickwithNetflixthat?

night。

“HowcouldIsaynotosuchabold,romanticgesture?

”heexplained。

12

12。

AsrecountedinTheAwl,12/30/09。

Needlesstosay,thequote-cruxofthestory?

—?

“Howcheapischeap?

”?

—?

didn’tmaketheversionsubmittedtotheTimes。

Althoughinretrospect,maybeifithadbeenincluded,oursubmissionwouldhavefoundmorefavor。

Probably?

not。

ThepairenjoyedfivedaystouringVeniceandCinqueTerre。

“Suchanintenseexperiencewaslike100dates,”Mr。

Shanoffremembered。

“ItwasItaly,”Mrs。

Shanoffsaid。

“Ofcoursewefellin?

love。

”13

13。

Seriously,Margeryisfearlessandendearingandkindandfullofjoy,allofwhichanyonecantellfromthatsinglequote,letalonebeingmarriedtoherfor10years。

Howdidtheyturndownthislisting?

(Thisfinalventingrepresentsmyclosure。

[Ednote:AREYOU?

SURE])

Whentheyreturnedstateside,theymaintaineda“mid-distance”relationshipbetweenBostonandNewYorkduringMr。

Shanoff’sfinalyearofbusinessschool,beforehemovedbacktoManhattanaftergraduating。

14

14。

WeleftManhattanayearlater,Brooklynafewyearsafterthatwithtwokids,andnowweliveintheDCsuburbswiththree,happilystillmarried(stillhappilymarried?

)andcelebratingour10thanniversarytonightinthemostromanticwaypossible?

—?

YomKippurservices。

(AskanyJewishperson:“KolNidre”istheleastseductiveslowjamever。

)Intheend,Iwasn’tlookingfora“Vows”column?

—?

justanoverlypublic,admittedlysuperficial,Times-stampedrecognitionofthebiggestmomentofourlives。

Itclearlynaggedatmeenoughoverthepastdecadetofinallyseeitpublishedtoday。

Youwin,LoisSmith?

Brady。

DanShanoffwritesforUSATodaySports。


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